i dream of love

if i were

to have

waited

for that one

i heard

spoken of

in dreams

one who was

could be

perfect

mine

i do not

believe

in

fate

but

in dreams

i forget

i hear

a voice

a man

i rebel

bisexual

polyamorous

that i was

a single

male voice?

i sneer

at what

i assume

is my

subconscious

laugh

internally

hysterical

and that

is

the point

is it not?

that story

on repeat

in my dreams:

i was born

in darkness

yet

not in

a void

ground

beneath my feet

i was told

there was

someone

waiting

for me.

told little

secret

riddles

to help

me

find them

and with

these gifts

i fled

running past

the garden

that represented

him

and into

the deepening

dark.

in this dream

i was given

the promise

of perfect

love

and i

stood up

and looked

around

saw the

muted

unknown

beauty

of that

story

held it

hold it

close

ALWAYS

saw

the fire

the rising

waters

falling

earth

the ice

spreading

and took

a deep

breath

and ripped

my mind

away

from love

and ran

for life

and the world instead.

teach me love

and the past

drifts

in

and

out

of

consciousness

sometimes

it

over

takes

the present

often

destroying

futures

that glow

i remember

each

tinted

with

rose

my boy

with his hat

now a man

so far gone

far away

from me

what we were

then.

i can

not

help

the smile

that

almost

reaches

eyes

mouth

it took

so long

but

finally

we

do not

look

reach out

for

the other

you

man now

that you

are

understood

this

far sooner

than i

yet

i

understood

that lesson

in time.

if words had sentience

if words had

sentience

i wonder

if we would

speak them

so freely

let them leave

us

so quickly

if words

breathed

lived as

we do

would there

be anything

left?

this world

would be

a desolate

place

if words had

sentience

if they led

lives

as we do

anger

pain

fear

would be par

the course

and peace

love

kindness

far

between

it would

be much

as it is

now

yet

perhaps

with

far less

hope

if words

could breathe

this place

would be

nothing more

than a wasteland

of dreams.

dragon

i dig down
into the dirt
the abyss

i feel it
is all
i have ever
known.

the dragon
inside me
screams
shrieks

alien words

i have yet
to comprehend.

the meaning may
surpass me

yet i find
myself
unable
to subvert
it.

and so
i descend

again.